Wishful Thinking
by Kashira Hibana
Summary: Not everything is as it first appears to be... Pairings: Read to find out - R&R please! * I DO NOT OWN THE TEEN TITANS! ::sniff sniff::


Raven shut the lid of her laptop with a sigh. _How is it that the internet is supposed to have everything, yet seems to have nothing interesting at all now?_ With a huff, she turned unto her side and stared at the candle on the side of her bed. She watched the flickering fire, entranced. Fire had always held a quiet fascination for her, the blue leading to orange always held on to her attention. However that attention was snatched away from the candle by a quiet wailing, followed by hurried, hushed coo's. With a smile, she teleported herself to the nursery. Robin sighed in relief at her appearance, and quickly handed over the crying baby.

"Honestly, Robin, you are going to need to get it together. You're a mess." Her smiled was the only thing that managed to keep him together, and he returned it easily.

"I'm just so glad you're so good at this… I need a handbook!" Raven gave a small smile as she sat on a rocking chair to feed the small child. Robin watched her with loving eyes and sat next to her.

"Hey, we should get a baby-sitter tomorrow… how about we go out to that café you like? We haven't been there since Richie was born. What do you think?" Raven smiled lovingly at the child as she answered.

"You know that no sitter will be able to handle a 6 month old with unpredictable superpowers, even Beast Boy and Cyborg," her eyes darkened as she added, "and others can't be counted on…" Robin sighed, suddenly filled with sadness.

"I know… I'm… sorry… I'm so sorry, Rae…" Raven looked away from both the child and the father. _Don't call me that…not now…_ She thought for him to hear. He grimaced at the sadness, yet felt a small bit of hope in hearing her in his mind again. He'd gotten used to their thoughts being constantly shared, then suddenly it had all stopped.

"I really am sorry… You know that, don't you? I didn't mean for any of this to happen… not like this…" Raven's eyes filled with tears at his words, yet nodded in response. She knew he had not wanted this, they both wished it was different. Oh, how she wished it was different. Richie finished the bottle with a small burp, making Raven smile.

"There you go sweetheart, isn't that better? Don't worry, your daddy might not know what he's doing, but you still have me." She hugged the baby and winked at a smiling Robin. Even though they both wished for different, there was no way to help loving the small bundle of joy. They sat in silence as Raven put the baby to sleep, then placed him in his crib. She turned around to find Robin right behind her. Her breath caught as he wrapped an arm around her waist and cupped her face in his other hand. He kissed her passionately, and Raven let her hands tangle themselves fiercely in his hair. They pulled apart with a furious passion burning in their eyes when they heard one of the members heading down the corridor.

"I love you, Rae."

"I love you too, Richard." Robin noticed a single tear begin streaming down her face as she teleported back to her room. Robin let a few of his own tears free before the door opened.

"Robin, I'm back. How is it-I mean… how's he doing?" asked Starfire from the doorway. Robin could still feel Raven's mind was open to him and made sure to enjoy the sensation while it lasted.

"Richie is fine… He just finished eating and is sleeping… Don't you want to come in? See him…" He reached a hand towards her and she took a step back.

"No. I do not wish to come in contact with the child. You are already aware that I am not suited to care for it. I'm heading to bed, will you be joining me tonight?" Robin's eyes filled with pain behind his mask.

"No… I have things to work on…goodnight, Star."

"Goodnight." She turned away stiffly and headed down the hall, angered that he had not actually shared a bed with her since the baby was born, instead sleeping in the nursery. Robin sank unto a chair and buried his face in his hands. Still sharing Raven's thoughts, they both let their past come into view.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Ahh! Robin! There's people around! Stop it!" Robin laughed as he picked up Raven bridal style and kissed her passionately. Everyone walking by had turned to look at them with a smile. Raven admired her engagement ring as Robin hugged her tightly._

_~-*-~*-~*-~*-~_

"_I love you. Now and forever." Robin smiled at her words. "I love you more that you'll ever know." He leaned down and kissed her. All clothes were carefully removed aside as they made love for the first time._

_~-*-~*-~*-~*-~_

"_RAVEN! NO!" The robber was being pinned down by Beast Boy and Cyborg, while Robin held Raven's bloody body in his arms. The bullet was meant for him, but she had flown in and instead got hit herself. _

_Robin jumped on his motorcycle and took her to a hospital, unable to wait for the ambulance to respond. _

_The doctors coming out to tell him that the bullet had pierced her lung, and the internal bleeding was proving extremely difficult to stop. They were still trying, she seemed to be healing… He hadn't heard the rest. _

_He went to a bar and got drunk… When he woke up the next morning, with no idea what had happened the previous night, he had found Starfire asleep in his arms. Both were without any traces of clothes. The disgust at himself had been immense, and the anger at Starfire when she confessed that even knowing that Robin wasn't in control of himself, she wanted him for herself no matter what, had been indescribable. _

_He had returned to the hospital immediately to find that Raven had been making good progress and had felt immense happiness when he'd been able to bring her home._

_~-*-~*-~*-~*-~_

"_How could you!?!? We were planning to get married in less than a month!!!" Raven had destroyed the living room in the argument. Starfire was crying on the sofa, hands flat against her slightly rounder stomach. Robin was trying to hold on to Raven, trying to fix what had happened._

_  
"I know, Rae, I'm so sorry! I hadn't meant for it to happen! I just-" He'd had to duck the T.V. she sent flying his way._

"_You're sorry! I was dying, Robin! DYING! After getting shot trying to save you! And instead of staying with me, you were fucking Star!! On the same bed I gave myself to you!!!" Robin had winced at the pain this was causing them both. Tears were freely flowing from both of them. He grabbed Raven's arms as she fought against him, turned his back towards Starfire, and took off his mask. Raven froze for a minute while looking into his bright blue eyes._

"_Rae, you know I never meant to hurt you! I love you! I love you and no one else! I have never, and will never, reveal my identity to anyone but you! You know me! The real me!!! Please, let's work this out!" Raven had slumped against him, the pain too great for her to bear any longer. _

"_I love you too…" Richard hugged her tightly and she returned the hug weakly._

"_But… there is nothing that can be done now…" Richard pulled away to look into her eyes, confusion clouding his senses._

"_What do you mean?" His voice sounded so broken… so unnatural…_

"_I did know the real you, and I love both the normal human Richard Grayson, and the superhero Robin… they make up the man I was willing to give my life for… but tell me, which one cheated on me?" Richard's eyes widened, and Raven could picture Robin's expression matching his. He hadn't been able to form words before Raven had looked down. The pain in her eyes broke Robin's heart and disintegrated it to dust._

"_That's what I thought… I'm sorry, but I can't…" she teleported out of his arms and to her room before he had a chance to react. He quickly, and automatically, tried to call to her through their minds, but found hers was closed. They had been linked that way for so long, he didn't remember what it was like to not be able to hear her. The pain gripped at the remains of his heart, and he also fled to his room._

_~-*-~*-~*-~*-~_

"_It's a baby boy!" Robin had to smile, as the love of a father suddenly burst free through him. He looked at Starfire to find her looking away. She refused to hold the baby, and didn't want anything to do with it._

_~-*-~*-~*-~*-~_

"_Please! Please! Just tell me what you want! I don't know what to do!!!" Robin slumped to the floor in tears with the wailing baby in his arms. He had been sleeping in the same room since they brought him home, and every time he cried it was the same pain of not knowing what to do. This time, the door had opened and closed without him noticing. Suddenly, Raven was in front of him. Besides seeing her out while doing their job, they hadn't spoken or really seen each other since she had found out. Now, she took the baby from his hands, led him to a chair, and took over the job of a mother._

_END FLASHBACK_

That was how they had managed to begin talking again, even if just a few interchanged words. Starfire never entered the nursery, no matter how much Robin had begged her to. Beast Boy and Cyborg had watched on helplessly as the birds love was harshly and severely bruised, yet existent, and as Starfire renounced all ties to the beautiful baby boy, which Robin tried to care for desperately. Raven had been, like always, an angel sent straight from God to help him through his hardships. Their love never died, and they both found themselves wishing desperately for a different situation. They shared an image of Robin hugging Raven from behind, as she held a baby boy with a pink blush, amethyst eyes, and jet black hair. They both wished so strongly for the image to be true, they almost allowed themselves to hope. **Raven… Rae, can't we figure it out? I won't give up on us! We must be able to do something! I wish…**_ I know, I wish too… maybe in time…_ Robin let those words fill him with a small sense of hope. _Goodnight… Richard…_** Goodnight… Raven Grayson.** Raven closed her mind as she felt like her heart had been stabbed painfully. She turned to face the candle once again, and remembered all the times she had wished the day would hurry up and come faster so she could officially become Mrs. Grayson. With another stab of pain, followed by a quiet sigh, the candle blew out. Raven knew her love for Robin, and his for her, should be turned off like the candle. She let the tears fall freely as she realized that there was no way to change the facts or their lives. Still, she allowed herself to continue wishing and thinking. Another painful sob broke through her as she realized that it was all just that… Wishful Thinking…


End file.
